Posts by Project Self

On Seeing things Differently

So much in personal or self development is written on the things we need to do and be for ourselves. To be the source of our own resource. We need to learn how to and not to. To be and to do. To be in touch with our emotions, let go of our emotions and express our emotions. To breathe deeply, be balanced and appreciative. To be self aware and be calm. To let go of the past, live in the present and have visions for the future. To be still and be mindful and to have passion and find momentum. To nurture and to…

On Finding Balance

Project Self

There’s a beautiful concept held in the mathematically designed Gomboc. It’s an object that self-rights itself whichever way it is pushed over. It has one point of stability and one of instability and will always return to the stable point. The shape was modelled on a tortoise which uses it’s shell to rock itself back onto its feet once it’s been turned over, and is dependent on doing so for survival. If the Gomboc was a conscious being, rather than an object, imagine what it would feel knowing that whatever forces conspired against it, it had the capacity to withstand…

On Making Decisions

Project Self

We make many decisions each day. So what is it that makes decision making so hard? Three clients raised decision making as an area of difficulty for them this week; which has led me to reflect on what is involved in making a decision. The word decide comes from the latin for to determine. It’s also about resolving a question, finding solutions and considering ideas. When we are caught between options we have to chose one or the other but rarely neither; we don’t often get the option to decide not to decide, although we may chose to prevaricate. Sometimes…

On Changing Your Perception

Project Self

The World as you see it is not The World. We are meaning making creatures. We have to be in order to make sense of the world we are in. To locate ourselves within a framework which provides us with security and safety and enables us to negotiate complexity. We shrink the world into our own world through a scale of recognition and familiarity. We internalise the world. We will skew, adapt, interpret, deny and project so that what we see and experience is an internal representation or perception of external reality, framed by our previous experiences and understanding. We both replay and look for…

On Finding Your Voice

Project Self

I have two clients for whom the voice is a central theme of the coaching exploration, for very different reasons. One wants to find their voice in the world, the other has a very strong voice to the extent that it is an important part of their identity. As a coach I have had to find my voice through being in the world in a different, more visible way. The voice is a fascinating meeting of expression, communication and emotion in sound. It is physically heard through the ears and felt through vibration in the body. It is how we…

On Knowing What You Want

Project Self

A coaching colleague wrote recently about dreams in which he said: 1) some people give up before they start; 2) some moderate their dreams (realism being the death of dreams); 3) some keep their dream alive but don’t believe in it so are half hearted and non-committal (the comfort zone I recently wrote about) and 4) some are fully committed to realising their dream – because they believe it is possible. This describes the effect self-belief, mental attitude and self-application has on achieving our potential; making possibility real. But what are dreams? Dreams are also described as wishes, desires, ambitions,…

On Self Responsibility, Truth & Freedom

Project Self

I had two thought provoking conversations recently; one with a therapist and one with a friend. The therapist was asking me what coaching is to me. The friend was talking about therapy. The first conversation raised the search for truth as a central issue. The second; freedom. Which made me reflect on the relationship between truth and freedom. Ultimately in coaching we know the client has the answer. The coach’s role is to help clients verbalise it and acknowledge it. The answer is the truth. We know our own truth but we do much to avoid it. We may not…

On Letting Go of Stuff

Project Self

“One day I looked around me and realised there was no room for me in that room. I was surrounded by stuff”. I coached someone recently on what was stopping them clearing out some of their belongings, when they knew they had too much ‘stuff’. As is often the case in coaching, my client’s situation mirrored something pertinent to my own life. I have been clearing out some of my own belongings in preparation for moving house. It’s an emotional, challenging but ultimately liberating experience. A hoard of childhood mementos, photographs of old drinking buddies, collections of found and interesting…

On Feeling Discomfort

Project Self

Are You Sitting Uncomfortably? Good. Then You Can Begin. In coaching, the different phases we operate in towards embracing change and challenge in our life are called the Comfort, Stretch and Panic zones. In the Comfort Zone we feel safe, as everything is familiar and routine. The danger of this is that we may not even realise we are limiting ourselves; preventing our own growth in effect. Stagnating imperceptibly. We may feel secure and unworried, but if we are not attending to our natural tendency towards growth, which gives us the sense that we are achieving something with our life, we…

On Making Change

Project Self

This post is written around the New Year, but the ‘New Year’ can be any point in time we take to reflect on the larger picture, larger timescale. The New Year, more than any other time is a chance to feel optimistic about what may be ahead; to relish the unknown, to anticipate and welcome change. For me, it’s not a time to list goals, but a time to reflect on where I am in my life. Some years nothing seems to change much, as whatever it is we are in is still unfolding. We may feel like we are…

Posts by Project Self

On Seeing things Differently

On Finding Balance

On Making Decisions

On Changing Your Perception

On Finding Your Voice

On Knowing What You Want

On Self Responsibility, Truth & Freedom

On Letting Go of Stuff

On Feeling Discomfort

On Making Change

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