On Lack of Direction

Transitions or thresholds often bring uncertainty and so we have to navigate the feeling of not knowing: what’s going to happen, where we are going or what to do next. We put so much emphasis on needing to know in order to feel secure and in control, yet there’s so much we don’t know. If we are able to find a way to accept that, we will feel less stress. Aloneness and sadness often arises at the time of transition.

When we feel lost, we experience a kind of un-tethering from connection and belonging, both to ourselves and to what’s around us. It’s a kind of in-between place where we may not have the sense of path, map or horizon to find our way to some place else. We may also lack motivation, a sense of purpose, inspiration or aspiration. We may feel unfulfilled or stuck and lacking direction.

We may lose trust in our sense of knowing, feel discomfort in our lack of ability to commit, make decisions and set intentions for ourselves. We may lose our internal compass, our centre and sometimes the sense of our true identity.

On Knowing You Can Do It - Project Self Life Coaching

On Knowing You Can Do It

Why do we need to hear the words ‘everything is going to be okay’ or ‘you’ll be fine’ from someone else? What difference can those fairly innocuous words really make? Several clients this week have voiced that they need reassurance. Clients who are making changes in their life and are standing at the point of commitment. In fact one had already taken the step they needed, but were feeling doubtful now they were standing in the new position about the unfolding challenges more tangibly ahead, whilst another needed reassurance to start taking the steps. The question behind the need for reassurance is  “Can…
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ON FEELING LOST AND NOT KNOWING - Project Self Life Coaching

On Feeling Lost and Not Knowing

What does it mean to feel lost? To feel lost is to be stalled, to feel a loss of onward motion. When the wind leaves our sails, often without warning, the trajectory we were on is no longer viable; we can’t proceed. We have lost power, momentum, and with it inclination. We have no driving force, we are no longer a driver. Lost one’s way? Lost a sense of purpose? To be lost is to not know. To feel we don’t know where we are heading, to not know where to look, what to look for or how to find our way…
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On Embracing Change - Project Self Life Coaching

On Embracing Change

Our life is not just one life but a multiple series of shorter life frames where the parameters of our life alter, and so we are different at various times in our life. It is helpful not to see ourself as one defined person. We change, life changes, things can’t stay the same; it’s the natural order and flow of the Universe. Uncertainty is a constant, as are the everyday challenges to our life and our sense of self. Clients describe having lost sight of who they are, as well as finding it hard to be who they are. Our…
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keepaway ON RESISTANCE - Project Self Life Coaching

On Resistance

What We Resist, Persists. Resistance can be seen as a relationship between negative and positive energy. Some people may view resistance as strength of character. Resisting the pull of the things we know are bad for us but want anyway. A decision that reflects self restraint and control. An act of defiance and will power. What we want in that moment and a more refined capacity to step back and consider the implications. A refusal to comply or give in. Will power is perhaps more to do with not giving in, maintaining consistent actions in line with long term goals,…
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On Getting Out There - Project Self Life Coaching

On Getting Out There

The Latin root of the word adventure is ‘a thing about to come, or happen’. To adventure is to widen our horizons, to be open to events, experiences, places and people. To feel resolute in our own capacity to experience, to have flexibility and contend with challenge. It is what life offers us, whenever we chose it. When we allow and participate in the unusual. To venture, is to take a chance. An adventurous spirit summons up the image of a person who is curious; wants to explore, try new things and go to different places and enjoys and seeks…
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On Feeling Discomfort - Project Self Life Coaching

On Feeling Discomfort

Are You Sitting Uncomfortably? Good. Then You Can Begin. In coaching, the different phases we operate in towards embracing change and challenge in our life are called the Comfort, Stretch and Panic zones. In the Comfort Zone we feel safe, as everything is familiar and routine. The danger of this is that we may not even realise we are limiting ourselves; preventing our own growth in effect. Stagnating imperceptibly. We may feel secure and unworried, but if we are not attending to our natural tendency towards growth, which gives us the sense that we are achieving something with our life, we…
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On Procrastinating - Project Self Life Coaching

On Procrastinating

It is interesting how procrastinating can have value and also act as an excuse. Timing is important. We can only do something when we feel ready. It’s perfectly acceptable to wait until it is the right time, until we are in the right place. But sometimes we won’t ever be in the ‘right place’, so waiting isn’t necessarily going to give us that arrival. It’s important to reflect on why we are procrastinating, and be aware of the obstacles or excuses we are putting in the way, the reasons we are putting something off, if it’s something we really want. Recognising…
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