How to Move Forwards

There is always movement; nature is always moving. Even when we feel stuckness. Even when we feel resistance, there is a part of us wanting to go forward whilst another pulls back. In order to move forwards we need to address what’s holding us back, attend to what needs attention and feel our fears. We need to allow ourselves to connect to and acknowledge what matters to us. We need to own up to where we are procrastinating or what we are avoiding and questioning, know our motivations and take self responsibility. We also need to allow ourselves joy and give ourselves permission to do what we want. Ultimately we need confidence and courage.

On Being Into Something - Project Self Life Coaching

On Being Into Something

I disappeared this summer. I lost myself in a creative project. I let myself be taken over by it; let it be the most important thing in my life. It became my focus, the source of my energy and the distraction of it. It was a joyful and challenging immersion. It was all I thought about and all I wanted to think about it. There was little space for anything else in my life. This kind of creative immersion is often described as flow (Csikszentmihalyi). It was both exhausting and exhilarating to be so caught up and in something. Invested and…
Read More
On Embracing Change - Project Self Life Coaching

On Embracing Change

Our life is not just one life but a multiple series of shorter life frames where the parameters of our life alter, and so we are different at various times in our life. It is helpful not to see ourself as one defined person. We change, life changes, things can’t stay the same; it’s the natural order and flow of the Universe. Uncertainty is a constant, as are the everyday challenges to our life and our sense of self. Clients describe having lost sight of who they are, as well as finding it hard to be who they are. Our…
Read More
ON ACKNOWLEDGING WHAT YOU KNOW - Project Self Life Coaching

On Acknowledging What You Know

The whole premise of coaching is based on the concept that the client already has the answers. A coach works with the client so they can surface what they already know and so this forms part of their solution. The fact that we often know more than we let ourselves acknowledge is usually to do with shutting down part of ourselves, self-protection, devaluing intuition and ignoring our truth because of what it will mean if we face it – a call to action which is often challenging – and may involve facing our fears. But acknowledging that we do know…
Read More
On Getting Out There - Project Self Life Coaching

On Getting Out There

The Latin root of the word adventure is ‘a thing about to come, or happen’. To adventure is to widen our horizons, to be open to events, experiences, places and people. To feel resolute in our own capacity to experience, to have flexibility and contend with challenge. It is what life offers us, whenever we chose it. When we allow and participate in the unusual. To venture, is to take a chance. An adventurous spirit summons up the image of a person who is curious; wants to explore, try new things and go to different places and enjoys and seeks…
Read More
ON KNOWING YOUR MOTIVES - Project Self Life Coaching

On Knowing Your Motives

It’s interesting that to question someone as to their motives seems to have a negative connotation. As if there is a sense of something underneath, undeclared and invisible that is driving the person’s behaviour towards their own ends. As if to have a motive, an end in mind, is a negative state which creates deception. When we question someone’s motives, is it because it is not clear from their actions what their intentions are, so we are concerned that things are not as they seem? Yet a motive is a creative, personal and powerful thing. It’s the source; it’s the…
Read More
On Making Decisions - Project Self Life Coaching

On Making Decisions

We make many decisions each day. So what is it that makes decision making so hard? Three clients raised decision making as an area of difficulty for them this week; which has led me to reflect on what is involved in making a decision. The word decide comes from the latin for to determine. It’s also about resolving a question, finding solutions and considering ideas. When we are caught between options we have to chose one or the other but rarely neither; we don’t often get the option to decide not to decide, although we may chose to prevaricate. Sometimes…
Read More
ON CHANGING YOUR PERCEPTION- Project Self Life Coaching

On Changing Your Perception

The World as you see it is not The World. We are meaning making creatures. We have to be in order to make sense of the world we are in. To locate ourselves within a framework which provides us with security and safety and enables us to negotiate complexity. We shrink the world into our own world through a scale of recognition and familiarity. We internalise the world. We will skew, adapt, interpret, deny and project so that what we see and experience is an internal representation or perception of external reality, framed by our previous experiences and understanding. We both replay and look for…
Read More
Authenticity ON SELF RESPONSIBILITY, TRUTH & FREEDOM - Project Self Life Coaching

On Self Responsibility, Truth & Freedom

I had two thought provoking conversations recently; one with a therapist and one with a friend. The therapist was asking me what coaching is to me. The friend was talking about therapy. The first conversation raised the search for truth as a central issue. The second; freedom. Which made me reflect on the relationship between truth and freedom. Ultimately in coaching we know the client has the answer. The coach’s role is to help clients verbalise it and acknowledge it. The answer is the truth. We know our own truth but we do much to avoid it. We may not…
Read More
On Feeling Discomfort - Project Self Life Coaching

On Feeling Discomfort

Are You Sitting Uncomfortably? Good. Then You Can Begin. In coaching, the different phases we operate in towards embracing change and challenge in our life are called the Comfort, Stretch and Panic zones. In the Comfort Zone we feel safe, as everything is familiar and routine. The danger of this is that we may not even realise we are limiting ourselves; preventing our own growth in effect. Stagnating imperceptibly. We may feel secure and unworried, but if we are not attending to our natural tendency towards growth, which gives us the sense that we are achieving something with our life, we…
Read More
On Questioning - Project Self Life Coaching

On Questioning

Coaching is fundamentally based on the skill of asking questions. The power of coaching lies in being able to ask the right kind of question at the right time. This can clarify, trigger, challenge or reveal; but results in a fundamental shift in mindset or position for the client. Curiosity, exploration, reflection and enquiry creates insight and discovery. The question itself can be quite simple, but its power lies in pertinence. Someone asking us a question prompts us to question our self and to hear our answer out loud, which we may already know at a deeper level, but may…
Read More