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ON LETTING GO - Project Self Life Coaching

On Letting Go

Project Self
Most of us understand the importance of letting go to move on. But often there’s a sense that letting go is as simple as letting a fish swim out of your hand into a river, or a balloon into the air – release, of returning things to their natural order – of lightness, letting things be. But it requires focus and effort. It can be an emotional wrench. To relinquish is to voluntarily cease to keep or claim. To cease a claim on something that isn’t actually ours. Are we trying to keep the fish in hand against its will?…
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On Questioning - Project Self Life Coaching

On Questioning

Project Self
Coaching is fundamentally based on the skill of asking questions. The power of coaching lies in being able to ask the right kind of question at the right time. This can clarify, trigger, challenge or reveal; but results in a fundamental shift in mindset or position for the client. Curiosity, exploration, reflection and enquiry creates insight and discovery. The question itself can be quite simple, but its power lies in pertinence. Someone asking us a question prompts us to question our self and to hear our answer out loud, which we may already know at a deeper level, but may…
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On Knowing What to Do - Project Self Life Coaching

On Knowing What to Do

Project Self
We can become divorced from our own physical feelings, from the relationship between mind and body. We get stuck in trying to find the right answer in our rational mind. We think the better answer is to figure something out by solving it as a problem with the ‘correct’ solution, coming from a place of considered analysis. What does it feel like when the answer is ‘Yes’. And when the answer is ‘No’. We need to enable ourselves to understand and read our ‘emotional barometer’, to help us trust ourselves, to give us a measure. Our instinctive response to a situation…
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On waiting for the answer - Project Self Life Coaching

On Waiting for the Answer

Project Self
A key skill taught to coaches is the capacity to ‘hold space’ for our clients. This involves giving you, the client, plenty of time and space to respond, to think, to feel, to reflect, particularly in response to a question. This may mean sitting with silence. It means waiting. It means sitting in silence for longer than you normally would, and initially it can feel strange or uncomfortable. But it is the most powerful coaching skill. If you wait that little bit longer before following up with another question or another prompt, this is the space where the insight often…
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On Procrastinating - Project Self Life Coaching

On Procrastinating

Project Self
It is interesting how procrastinating can have value and also act as an excuse. Timing is important. We can only do something when we feel ready. It’s perfectly acceptable to wait until it is the right time, until we are in the right place. But sometimes we won’t ever be in the ‘right place’, so waiting isn’t necessarily going to give us that arrival. It’s important to reflect on why we are procrastinating, and be aware of the obstacles or excuses we are putting in the way, the reasons we are putting something off, if it’s something we really want. Recognising…
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ON BEING OK WHERE YOU ARE - Project Self Life Coaching

On Being Ok Where You Are

Project Self
“We are at where we are at”. This was often said by one of my life coaching course trainers and has stayed with me. The starting point of coaching is to accept where we are. And if we don’t really want to be there, to accept that too. Too often we create stress wishing things were not the way they were or wishing things were different, often berating ourselves and our capacity to do something about it in the process. This is a positive place to start; where we are. Before acceptance comes awareness. Coaching is often at its most…
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