Posts by Project Self

On Feeling Lost and Not Knowing

What does it mean to feel lost? To feel lost is to be stalled, to feel a loss of onward motion. When the wind leaves our sails, often without warning, the trajectory we were on is no longer viable; we can’t proceed. We have lost power, momentum, and with it inclination. We have no driving force, we are no longer a driver. Lost one’s way? Lost a sense of purpose? To be lost is to not know. To feel we don’t know where we are heading, to not know where to look, what to look for or how to find our way…

On Embracing Change

Project Self

Our life is not just one life but a multiple series of shorter life frames where the parameters of our life alter, and so we are different at various times in our life. It is helpful not to see ourself as one defined person. We change, life changes, things can’t stay the same; it’s the natural order and flow of the Universe. Uncertainty is a constant, as are the everyday challenges to our life and our sense of self. Clients describe having lost sight of who they are, as well as finding it hard to be who they are. Our…

On Not Being Productive

Project Self

Along with “Have you had a good day”? how often are we asked: “Have you had a productive day” or “What have you done today”? ’Good’ as a measure or description seems open to interpretation since a day can be good for a number of varied and subjective reasons. But productive as a measure holds within it an implicit judgement. Have you done something useful with your life today? Have you been constructive? Applied yourself, achieved? Been energetic, focused? It feels as though a productive day is ‘good’ and related to success. So that if we haven’t been productive somehow…

On Acknowledging What You Know

Project Self

The whole premise of coaching is based on the concept that the client already has the answers. A coach works with the client so they can surface what they already know and so this forms part of their solution. The fact that we often know more than we let ourselves acknowledge is usually to do with shutting down part of ourselves, self-protection, devaluing intuition and ignoring our truth because of what it will mean if we face it – a call to action which is often challenging – and may involve facing our fears. But acknowledging that we do know…

On Changing Your Story

Project Self

Stories are the way in which we make sense of the world, create meaning and understand our experience in relation to our surroundings and relationships. They are a combination of social-cultural and inner psychological workings. Stories can be a narrative to hold a series of events together in time, to create an account, create continuity and order complexity. They can also be a work of fiction and imaginings designed by the narrator to purvey a message to their audience. Their re-telling alters or refines their meaning, as does the context in which they are told. They may have some basis in reality,…

On Resistance

Project Self

What We Resist, Persists. Resistance can be seen as a relationship between negative and positive energy. Some people may view resistance as strength of character. Resisting the pull of the things we know are bad for us but want anyway. A decision that reflects self restraint and control. An act of defiance and will power. What we want in that moment and a more refined capacity to step back and consider the implications. A refusal to comply or give in. Will power is perhaps more to do with not giving in, maintaining consistent actions in line with long term goals,…

On Doing Nothing

Project Self

Mind the gap is a familiar warning. Mine to you would be make the gap. Find the gap. The interval; the interlude; the break; the empty space. Create space; find time; in between… Ensure that there is a space between arrival and departure, between one thing and the next, between one zone and another. Be aware of those moments, those transitions and transactions. Find those un-named, ill-defined places without purpose. Relish their vacuum and step into them. They are opportunities for respite, reflection and rest. For being without mission or requirement or determination. Don’t avoid them or rush to…

On Getting Out There

Project Self

The Latin root of the word adventure is ‘a thing about to come, or happen’. To adventure is to widen our horizons, to be open to events, experiences, places and people. To feel resolute in our own capacity to experience, to have flexibility and contend with challenge. It is what life offers us, whenever we chose it. When we allow and participate in the unusual. To venture, is to take a chance. An adventurous spirit summons up the image of a person who is curious; wants to explore, try new things and go to different places and enjoys and seeks…

On Silence

Project Self

To live, is to be within surroundings. To be surrounded is often to be within sound. Often, noise. Being in noise; both external and internal, can threaten one’s internal equilibrium; yet sometimes it can be as difficult to tolerate silence as it is noise. We can find it uncomfortable and search to fill it with words, with background noise, with action that can dispitate the moment of space and stillness. As if silence is an absence of things that need to be found and a space once opened up, that needs to be refilled. Silence is active. It is not the…

On Knowing Your Motives

Project Self

It’s interesting that to question someone as to their motives seems to have a negative connotation. As if there is a sense of something underneath, undeclared and invisible that is driving the person’s behaviour towards their own ends. As if to have a motive, an end in mind, is a negative state which creates deception. When we question someone’s motives, is it because it is not clear from their actions what their intentions are, so we are concerned that things are not as they seem? Yet a motive is a creative, personal and powerful thing. It’s the source; it’s the…

Posts by Project Self

On Feeling Lost and Not Knowing

On Embracing Change

On Not Being Productive

On Acknowledging What You Know

On Changing Your Story

On Resistance

On Doing Nothing

On Getting Out There

On Silence

On Knowing Your Motives

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